Higher than a kite.....

Tomorrow I go in to get my four wisdom teeth pulled and four cavities fixed. With a dose of Valium tonight and a IV sedation tomorrow, it can be assumed that I'll be MIA for a while.

It is a bit odd, really. If I would have had this done a year ago like I was supposed to I would be freaking out right now. I still may later on tonight. But I've recently realised that being a cop you gotta have more confidince. I am a pile of self-doubt. Not always sure I'm making the right decision, worried that I'll screw up, or fret over one minor screw up I did all day. It really isn't healthy nor safe for someone to be that way in a law enforcement field. It causes the mind to focus on one thing that causes tunnelvision and can get you killed. I have lately been motivating myself better and have changed things on me I would think could never change. This is one of those things. Facing a fear with little or no concern.

I hope this will continue to pass on through me and that it will make me a better officer.