Can you hear me now?

A man who sent out several letters-in-bottles got a rude reply regarding one.

"I recently found your bottle while taking a scenic walk on the beach by
Poole Harbour. While you may consider this some profound experiment on the path
and speed" of "oceanic currents, I have another name for it, litter."

The British always look out for the most negative side of things.

Which in itself is a bit weird. One English friend I have is actually very laid back and easy-going. Maybe it is just the discoverer.